girl, wake up!

 

As humans living in a fast-paced  world, I think it is totally understandable why we all slip into a rut sometimes. My mum has this particular theory that a person can be reasonably productive 5 out of 7 days  of the week, which I actually agree with. Like, I am yet to meet someone who is consistently productive 24*7. Some of the common reasons we fall into a rut is because we are either scared of the unknown, experienced a setback or we just grew out of our existing habits. For me it is a combination of - fear of the unknown and growing out of my old habits. And ever since I became a student staying at my school's boarding, slipping into a rut feels like I'm going insane and I think part of the reason is that I am surrounded by so many hardworking and determined people, it can tend to make one feel like you're not doing enough. Also, it feels genuinely scary because I feel like there's nothing that can bring me back. So mostly, I try to remind myself of the fact that no one is perfect and we all are just trying to make things work. And that, for me especially, my life has changed more in 10 months than it did in 16 years, I've more or less moved myself out of my  permanent residence, left behind everything I've ever known, enrolled at a new school, met  new people, and I can't expect myself to be as effortless as I used to be through this transition. I think anyone who has kept very high expectations of themselves will resonate with me when I say that the fear of not achieving what you know you're capable of is a constant throughout anything you basically do and I now have to constantly remind myself that I am only 17, and I am allowed to behave 17. So now, I try to follow certain habits like taking care of my skin or my hair and focusing on how I can build upon my existing study methods to be more efficient. And that keeps me from going insane. I now think of ruts are interstices and they are extremely important for the existence of our world as we know it. Interstices exist in all our sciences, mathematics, our languages, our thoughts and especially in our habits. Do you also slip into a rut sometimes?